Back home.

Yesterday I got on my yoga mat for the first time in almost 6 weeks. The past couple of months have been difficult dealing with family health issues, my husband getting into an cycling accident and several other curveballs that have come our way.
My yoga mat has always felt like home. But when things got really hard for me, that was the last place I wanted to be. And I couldn’t understand why. How could I turn my back on something that I love with all my heart.
I couldn’t even bring myself to roll my mat out at home.
I wanted nothing to do with it.
At all.
I questioned it and questioned it and I just couldn’t grasp why.
Getting back on my mat I finally understand. Yoga is the one thing that truly connects me. Mind, body, heart and soul. All of it. And it connects me to everything around me. It’s what makes everything make sense. It makes time seem to not exist. It aligns every part of me and shows me my own truth. It forces me to deal with my issues and to let them go once they have taught me what I’m supposed to learn. It shows me that everything is going to be okay. No matter what.
And I guess I just didn’t want to see those things. Maybe I wasn’t ready to deal with everything yet. Maybe I didn’t want to let go. Im guilty of suppressing things way deep down and not wanting to face them in hopes that they will magically go away. When you’re caught up in your own mental thunderstorms it’s really hard to see past the pain. And to allow yourself to do the things that you know will bring you joy. It’s like we punish ourselves or something. Or maybe I’m the only one who does that.
Regardless, I am grateful for a great friend for guiding me through my practice and for Soul Yoga for always being my home.

Love and devotion 

I received Danielle Laporte’s daily truthbomb this morning in my inbox. It read: “Spiritual practice won’t make you super human. But it will help you fall in love with your humanity.”

That got me to thinking about this whole spiritual practice business. I live in Oklahoma, which if you don’t know, is right smack dab in the middle of the Bible belt. If you speak of anything spiritual, it better be Baptist and have to do with going to church on Sunday mornings. Anything else is hogwash and frowned upon. However, I was not raised in the church and I’ve never read the Bible (I’ve read parts, but definitely not in its entirety).

My spiritual practice didn’t start until I was in my early 20s and I began doing yoga. After falling in love with the physical part of the practice, I wanted to learn everything there was to learn about the spiritual side of yoga. I started reading tons of books, went to lectures, watched documentaries, and completely immersed myself in as much as I possible could.

Ever since I was a young girl I have always prayed to God. However, I was never really sure what that God looked like or the extent of what “God” embodied. I just prayed. Once I started learning more and more about different kinds of Gods and the various religions, I realized that I didn’t really connect with any spiritual box that people try to fit themselves into. I’m not Baptist, Buddhist, Catholic, Hindu, Methodist or any other category. I’m just me. I’m understanding more and more that my spiritual practice doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s idea/expectation. And that’s perfectly okay. It’s so crazy how defensive people get about this whole thing. I mean, wars have been fought on the matter. Seriously people, are we missing the point here or what?

I pray, meditate and I even pull Angel Cards every single morning. That is my ritual. I wake up in the mornings and make a cup of tea, pull my daily angel card, sit and meditate for about 10 minutes and finish up with my prayers. I do this every single morning. From there I pray all throughout the day. My prayers are in the form of exercise (whether I’m on a trail run or sweating it out in a Barre3 class), journaling, practicing yoga, driving down the road, sitting on the couch watching a movie or drinking wine with friends. My prayers come in all shapes and sizes and to me they are a form of self-love.

Spiritual practice doesn’t have to fit any mold or idea because it’s personal to how I connect with God. And some days, God is a She. Some days I feel God and others I don’t. Some days I use the word God and others it’s Spirit, Source or Love. And it’s all good. Its devotion and that is the key. Being committed to the practice and remaining open to what it brings into my life. And I’ll be honest, most days I am just praying for love. Love over fear, greed, judgments, comparisons, negativity, hate, etc. To see love. To feel love. To be love. To give love. Just love. Because in the end, love is the ultimate spiritual practice and we could all use a little more of it in our lives.

Choose love. Be love.