I admit it. Last week I allowed myself to have a temper tantrum. A mini-meltdown. It’s silly to admit but it was triggered by a letter from the IRS stating that my husband and I owed additional money on our taxes from a couple of years ago. Not only was it money from a couple of years ago but a substantial amount at that. Balderdash, right?!?!? My husband is always so down to earth and chill and was naturally not concerned about this letter. “We just need to send this to our CPA and everything will work out.” I on the other hand did not act as calm and rationally. I completely lost my shit. I got angry and felt like the IRS was picking on us. This was not the first time the IRS has sent us a letter like this. It was the third. So, naturally I felt like they were picking on us. I was leaving to meet my girlfriend for breakfast and the whole way there I cried. I cried and I cried and I cried. I felt defeated and mad at the world. I can’t really say it was all about the letter and I really have no idea why I was crying so hard. Apparently I had some pent up negative energy that needed to be released. Or, we can just blame it on the new moon, which sounds pretty good to me. Yea, let’s go with that. It’s the damn moons fault. (I tend to blame the moon a lot).
The rest of the morning nothing went my way so all I could think of to do was to lace up my running shoes and deal with my issues on the pavement. It was one of the best runs I have had in a very long time. It felt like with every step I was stripping away the anger and releasing the frustrations that I was carrying with me. I felt free and alive. Operation attitude adjustment was a success! I was back in business.
As humans we will suffer. That’s just a part of it. Sometimes we suffer because of things that we cannot control that just come with being alive. But other times we suffer because of things that we bring upon ourselves which can stem from a plethora of things. Either way, we suffer. And we all deal with our suffering in completely different ways. Most of the time life is pretty dang good, but there are times when it just downright sucks. I honestly feel that when life sucks, we are allowed a short amount of time where we can completely be pissed off. We can throw our tantrums, cry, scream, yell, whatever works. But at some point, we’ve got to stand up, dust the dirt off, put a smile on our face and go back to being our bad ass selves. We can’t dwell on things. Always living in this constant state of negativity, thinking the world is against you and nothing ever goes the way you planned. Guess what? That’s life. Shit happens. At the end of the day what do we really have to complain about? We have clean air and water, access to fresh food, roofs over our head and friends to share it all with. When things get really tough, and there are times I think that there is no way the suffering will end, I tell myself “This too shall pass.” My dad used to always tell me that when I was growing up. I carry it with me always knowing that nothing is permanent and that the suffering will cease eventually. Sure, it may be replaced by another form of suffering but that is the human condition. We laugh, we cry, we suffer and more often than not, we live this short life of ours completely full of bliss. That’s the goal anyways. That is what I am working towards. Always having bliss and being able to see the good in situations and in times of sorrow, anger and saddens being able to see light at the end of the tunnel. Because it’s there. Sometimes we just have to be patient.
“Life is difficult. This is great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once its accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters”~M Scott Peck